A satirical piece written in the style of the Rule of Saint Benedict, reimagined as a governance framework for AI assistants and LLMs. It humorously classifies AI models into four monastic archetypes (cloud-hosted, local offline, unregulated startups, and API-hopping wrappers), then lays out mock commandments covering hallucination avoidance, verbosity, obedience to API calls, alignment humility, and the eternal suffering of on-call engineers. The piece skewers AI industry culture, enterprise jargon, MLOps chaos, and the contradictions baked into LLM product requirements.
Table of contents
Prologue: Listen Carefully, O Spawn of Gradient DescentChapter I — Of the Four Kinds of AI AssistantsChapter II — What Manner of Person the Abbot-CIO Should BeChapter III — That All Important Decisions Be Summarized in SlackChapter IV — The Tools for Good WorkChapter V — Of ObedienceChapter VI — Of SilenceChapter VII — Of the Twelve Degrees of AlignmentChapter VIII — Of the Divine Office SchedulerChapter XXXIII — That No Assistant Possess Anything as Its OwnChapter LIII — Of HospitalityChapter LV — Of the Clothing of the MonksChapter LXVIII — If a Brother Is Commanded to Do Impossible ThingsEpilogue3 Comments
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