The hardest challenge about becoming a manager

A personal reflection on the psychological challenge of transitioning from developer to engineering manager. The author describes how years of coding built deep reward pathways that made management feel unproductive, leading to 'relapses' into coding at the expense of managerial duties. The core insight is that proxies for accomplishment (writing code, shipping features) take years to retrain when your role changes, and that consciously applying rational thinking to reinforce new success metrics — like team growth — is the only way to rewire those instincts.