<img src="https://media.daily.dev/image/upload/s--vem3eg2m--/f_auto/v1740212114/ugc/content_fc4be0ef-f26c-4bf9-89bd-ad7dc0c4c95e" alt="ss">
<h1>PHP Function Showdown: A Saturday Morning Experiment</h1>
I was having coffee this Saturday morning and thought “hey, why not benchmark some PHP functions?” So here’s what I found out while caffeinating! 🚀
<h2>My Test Setup</h2>
<ul>
<li>PHP 8.x (the new hotness)</li>
<li>1,000,000 iterations (because why not?)</li>
<li>Ran some warm-ups (gotta get those functions limbered up)</li>
<li>Tested with arrays/strings of different sizes (tiny ones to chonky bois)</li>
<li>Mixed up the test order (for science!)</li>
</ul>
<h2>String Battle: sprintf() vs Double Quotes</h2>
<h3>Round 1: Simple String Stuff</h3>
<pre><code class="language-php">// The fancy sprintf way
sprintf(&quot;String: %s, Number: %d, Float: %.2f, Array count: %d&quot;,
$string, $integer, $float, count($array));
// The chill double quotes way
&quot;String: $string, Number: $integer, Float: $float, Array count: &quot; . count($array);
</code></pre>
The Score:
<ul>
<li>Double quotes: 0.2243 seconds (speedy!)</li>
<li>sprintf: 0.5059 seconds (not so speedy)</li>
<li>Double quotes absolutely smoked sprintf (2.26x faster) 🏃‍♂️</li>
</ul>
<h3>Complex Formatting Test</h3>
<pre><code class="language-php">// sprintf version
sprintf(&quot;String: %10s, Number: %04d, Float: %.3f, Array count: %d&quot;,
$string, $integer, $float, count($array));
// Double quotes version with formatting
&quot;String: &quot; . str_pad($string, 10) . &quot;, Number: &quot; .
str_pad($integer, 4, &quot;0&quot;, STR_PAD_LEFT) .
&quot;, Float: &quot; . number_format($float, 3) .
&quot;, Array count: &quot; . count($array);
</code></pre>
Results:
<ul>
<li>sprintf: 0.5828 seconds</li>
<li>Double quotes with formatting: 0.7837 seconds</li>
<li>sprintf is 0.74x faster (26% faster)</li>
</ul>
<h3>What I Learned</h3>
<ul>
<li>For simple stuff, just use double quotes - it’s faster and your code looks cleaner</li>
<li>Break out sprintf when you need:
<ul>
<li>Fancy formatting magic</li>
<li>To make sure your types are right</li>
<li>To make your app speak different languages</li>
<li>To reuse the same format over and over</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
<h2>The Great Counter Showdown: count() vs sizeof()</h2>
<h3>Test Results Across Different Array Types</h3>
<pre><code class="language-php">// Both methods
$count = count($array);
$size = sizeof($array);
</code></pre>
Verification Results:
<pre><code>Simple Array: ✓ Match (both return 5)
Simple Array (recursive): ✓ Match (both return 5)
Nested Array: ✓ Match (both return 3)
Nested Array (recursive): ✓ Match (both return 12)
Associative Array: ✓ Match (both return 3)
Associative Array (recursive): ✓ Match (both return 3)
Mixed Array: ✓ Match (both return 4)
Mixed Array (recursive): ✓ Match (both return 8)
</code></pre>
Performance Results:
<ul>
<li>
Small Array (5 elements):
<ul>
<li>count(): 0.0133 seconds</li>
<li>sizeof(): 0.0164 seconds</li>
<li>count() is 0.81x faster</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li>
Medium Array (100 elements):
<ul>
<li>count(): 0.0134 seconds</li>
<li>sizeof(): 0.0164 seconds</li>
<li>count() is 0.82x faster</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li>
Large Array (1000 elements):
<ul>
<li>count(): 0.0133 seconds</li>
<li>sizeof(): 0.0174 seconds</li>
<li>count() is 0.77x faster</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li>
Nested Array:
<ul>
<li>count(): 0.0134 seconds</li>
<li>sizeof(): 0.0174 seconds</li>
<li>count() is 0.77x faster</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
<h3>Plot Twist!</h3>
<ol>
<li>They’re literally the same thing under the hood (mind blown! 🤯)</li>
<li>count() is about 20% faster (not sure why, but I’ll take it!)</li>
<li>Doesn’t matter if your array is tiny or huge, count() still wins</li>
<li>Both handle nested arrays like champs</li>
</ol>
<h3>The Verdict</h3>
Just use count() - it’s:
<ul>
<li>The OG PHP function</li>
<li>Quicker (who doesn’t like free performance?)</li>
<li>What all the cool kids use</li>
<li>More PHP-ish</li>
</ul>
<h2>Array Joining: join() vs implode()</h2>
<pre><code class="language-php">// Both methods
$result1 = join(&#x27;,&#x27;, $array);
$result2 = implode(&#x27;,&#x27;, $array);
</code></pre>
Results:
<ul>
<li>Functionally identical (join is an alias for implode)</li>
<li>Performance differences are negligible</li>
<li>Both handle all array types equally well</li>
</ul>
<h3>Recommendation</h3>
<ul>
<li>Prefer implode() as it’s:
<ul>
<li>The native PHP function</li>
<li>More commonly used</li>
<li>More clearly communicates intent in PHP context</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
<h2>Words of Wisdom From My Coffee-Fueled Testing Session</h2>
<ol>
<li>
Keep It Simple
<ul>
<li>Stick to the built-in PHP stuff when you can</li>
<li>Your future self will thank you</li>
<li>Your teammates will thank you (maybe)</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li>
Pick Your Battles
<ul>
<li>Simple text? Double quotes all the way</li>
<li>Fancy formatting? sprintf’s got your back</li>
<li>Counting stuff? count() is your friend</li>
<li>Joining arrays? implode() (because why not?)</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li>
About Those Speed Differences
<ul>
<li>We’re talking microseconds here (like, super tiny)</li>
<li>Focus on what matters:
<ul>
<li>Can you read it?</li>
<li>Will your team get it?</li>
<li>Will you remember what it does after your next coffee?</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li>
Real Talk
<ul>
<li>Clean code &gt; tiny speed gains</li>
<li>Be consistent</li>
<li>Future you will need to maintain this</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ol>
<h2>The Bottom Line</h2>
Look, these performance differences are cool and all, but they’re probably not going to make or break your app. Pick what makes sense, write code that’s easy to understand, and don’t sweat the small stuff. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need another coffee! ☕
Tests performed with a healthy dose of caffeine and curiosity. Your mileage may vary. No functions were harmed in the making of these benchmarks.

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A benchmarking experiment comparing different PHP functions reveals that double quotes are faster for simple string formatting compared to sprintf(), while sprintf() excels with complex formatting. Both count() and sizeof() function identically but count() is slightly faster. Implode(), preferred over join(), is clearer in context and typical use. The takeaway is to focus on simplicity, readability, and maintaining good code practice over minimal performance gains.

Speed comparison for sprint_f and double quotes

I kinda love those kind of benchmarks. Now i can produöy correct other php coders about their shitty code performance on specific functions… 😉