Scotty, I need warp speed in three minutes

A deep dive into performance optimizations made to Ultravisor, a Postgres connection pooler written in Elixir. The author shares several concrete lessons learned: using flame graphs and tprof for profiling, debouncing expensive inet stats calls, replacing telemetry_prometheus_core with Peep for 2x TPS improvement, using Erlang Records instead of Maps/Structs for O(1) field access, leveraging persistent_term over ETS for rarely-changing data, and implementing a Rust NIF-backed VecDeque to bypass GenServer call overhead for connection checkout — yielding a ~12% TPS boost. Each optimization includes before/after TPS benchmarks and practical takeaways.