Are you f**king kidding?

California and Colorado have passed/proposed laws requiring operating systems and app stores to collect age verification data from users, with fines up to $7,500 per affected minor for intentional violations. The author argues these laws are written by legislators who don't understand software, will create massive compliance burdens for open-source maintainers, fragment software distribution across state lines, and expose users to unnecessary privacy risks by forcing collection of sensitive identity data. Real-world effects are already visible: MidnightBSD updated its license to exclude California residents, Canonical is reviewing Ubuntu's response, and Discord is requiring face scans or IDs. The author calls on developers—especially those in California—to contact their state representatives to push back against these laws before they spread further.